A Weak Spot

Our sweet, darling toddler brought home a sickness bug from pre-school.

It was so bad, it took the entire family completely out of action for over 2 weeks.

Even Clarke, who never, ever, ever gets sick.

I don’t handle illness well. It is the one scenario that sees me trade in my anxiety for a low, depressed state.

I cannot get proper perspective on illness, mainly because l got sick once and stayed sick for years.

Whilst everyone else in our house was automatically confident that they would be back in regular working order in a few days.

For me there will always remain a sliver of doubt.

Even sat here now, fully operational once again, l could summon that doubt again if l did not consciously work on eradicating it.

It is not something l can do alone. Truly I have tried and l just end up going around in circles.

It is the same with my general anxiety, its a weak spot.

One that l wasn’t able to identify before it became unmanageable.

And a weak spot that most certainly cannot be shored up by me alone, once l am living in an unmanageable state.

I call it a weak spot, not because l am a weak person.

I don’t believe there is any such thing as a weak person. We are all miraculous and wonderful, every single human that l have ever met.

For me, it is nothing more than having a weak spot in our house.

A broken tile in the bathroom will be the site where water damage takes hold.

A worn out door handle will not allow a door to function properly.

These things are not to blame, they just need a bit of TLC.

I find it hard to bounce back from physical illness, on a mental level.

I am aware of this, and so is my husband.

So he supports me, both emotionally and practically.

Whilst compassionately insisting l seek professional help for it.

Which l am doing, because this weak spot can be fixed, just like l would ask a tiler to come sort out our bathroom.

What is your weak spot? Where do you feel most vulberable?

And how would you feel if someone lovingly suggested that you got a professional to cast their eye over it?

Those are the questions we would like you to think about today.

Love, C&C xx