I really don't feel like it...

It's Tuesday morning and, yet again, we've had a long night of disturbed sleep


It's grey, wet and miserable outside


The kettle has just broken and my face is itchy because I need a shave


I need to write some uplifting, inspirational content for the website yet I just want to crawl back into bed


How can I do that? It feels fraudulent, like I'm saying one thing when I feel another.


This was something that was a daily occurrence back when I used to wear "the mask" for people. I would tell people what I thought they wanted to hear, anything that diverted attention away from what was truly going on in my head.


It's taken a long time for me to break that habit, and it didn't happen overnight.


When I came out of psychiatric hospital in 2015 I resolved to never be that person again, to live with total and brutal honesty in all that I say and do


But it's hard


Sometimes we want to 'protect' the other person


Sometimes it's just not appropriate to launch into a soliloquy about our feelings and emotions, especially when the guy at McDonald's Drive-Thru was just being polite when he asked if I was okay


So what to do?


Well, if I'm to be true to myself, and true to the ethos and intentions of our website, then I have to be honest and true to our fellow members too


Today, I just don't feel 'inspirational'


It feels good to say it


I don't have to wear a fake smile for the rest of the day


Equally, I don't have to wear a frown in order to evidence this revelation


I'm free to just be 'me' today, knowing that I've shared to you how I am, and I have no expectation for you to try and make me feel better, or 'fix' me.


Because I know that nothing needs fixing!


I feel low this morning. I have acknowledged it and, greatest of all, it will pass!


No need to run from it


No need to hide it from anyone


Let it drift on by as I carry on being me


I really don't feel like it today...


And that's okay with me x

Recent Posts

See All

Be Yourself?

We talk about authenticity ALL THE TIME in oir talks. Because its so important. Being honest and true to ourselves saves lives. We can tell when we aren’t being ourselves, even when we don’t know who