On a Rainy Lockdown Saturday

What's a lass to do?!

We have no work on today.

The toddler is in her own little world, playing with wooden blocks.

The baby is asleep on me.

The husband is playing online golf with his American buddies.

Which leaves me time to fiddle about with our Clarke & Carrie's place House!

I haven’t had this much fun in a pretend house since Santa got me a three storey 80’s Barbie wonder for Christmas when l was six.

I go in and l play.

Whether that's making the day’s new content.

Or having a go at one of the tools laid out on each page.

It's the place l spend my free time in.

And l am really especially grateful for it, now we are back in lockdown.

I know the walls would feel like they were closing in on me by now, otherwise.

Take this week for example:

The weather has been rubbish.

I’m only going shopping for essentials, once a week maximum.

So l’ve no nice ingredients to bake with.

Which is a shame because rainy days are made for baking.

And it's done nowt but rain this week, seriously.

Usually l would be tetchy and moody and upset by now.

But l have the Clarke & Carrie’s place House to play with.

So l’m happy and focussed.

Because l am having so much fun!

I’ve started recording vlog posts on Zoom, so l can put virtual backgrounds on them.

And, let me tell you, they look completely ridiculous.

I adore them.

I could spend all day, filming a talk about consciously de-stressing, whilst having the world’s most obviously fake bathroom in the background.

Or talking about recipe scrap-booking, with a giant picture of old vintage Be-ro books behind me.

Perhaps most important for me on a personal level:

I would have been far too self-conscious to do stuff like this, before Clarke and l started engaging properly in therapy.

I was far too worried about other people’s opinions of me.

Back then whilst l actually believed they had any opinion at all.

Before therapy let me understand that most people aren‘t focussing me.

Most people are too busy with their OWN lives and thoughts.

So, on this rainy lockdown Saturday.

Whilst my toddler is playing.

My baby is sleeping.

And my Clarkey is virtually golfing.

I, at the ripe old age of forty, get to play pretendy houses.

And l can’t even begin to tell you how glad that makes me.

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We talk about authenticity ALL THE TIME in oir talks. Because its so important. Being honest and true to ourselves saves lives. We can tell when we aren’t being ourselves, even when we don’t know who