Turn on, tune in, or do one.

”Oh, I don’t own a television.”

Is there a more irritating phrase to fall upon the ear hole, than this?

Doubtful.

Get lost, man.

Of course you have a tv.

It may not be a 50” widescreen with HD and surround sound.

But there will be a laptop nearby.

Always willing to broadcast an episode of Coronation Street.

Should the need arise.

We can all watch anything, anywhere.

And we do.

All of us.

I’m not having it.

This screen snobbery.

Why would anyone pretend they don’t watch television?

It’s great. I (Carrie) love wasting hours in front of the tube.

And I refuse to pretend that our toddler doesn’t love it, too.

No. She doesn’t watch anything educational.

Also, I don’t put foreign subtitles on, so she will at least learn Spanish whilst watching In The Night Garden.

She adores puppets hopping around dementedly.

In migraine-inducing bold colours.

Especially the ones that don’t use real words.

And seem to speak using exclusively vowel sounds.

What is she learning from this? Nothing.

Will I win a parenting award for organic child-rearing? No.

Is she going to grow up a genius, and attend Oxford University at the age of twelve? Also no.

But she won’t look down on people.

Well, technically she will, as she’s going to be a very tall one, due to her gargantuan parents.

But, metaphorically speaking? Absolutely not.

Television is the ultimate form of “down time”, for me.

Its the one thing I can get lost in, consistently.

In every other aspect of life, I’ve a dreadfully short attention span.

But park me in front of a tv screen?

l’m good for hours.

Everything about it works for me.

I love having it as part of my end-of-day ritual.

Switching it on after the tiny humans are asleep.

Well it’s my brains cue to switch off from my own life.

And I can do that super effectively, by tuning into a scripted drama of somebody else’s.

Watching television. Curled up on the sofa. That’s my happy place.

And there’s no point in me pretending otherwise.

Because I need it.

And going without something that’s so integral to my wellbeing, for the sake of trying to gain approval from other people?

Sounds like a plot line with a very unhappy ending indeed.